We're Gonna Make It Now
by nayasmorris
Summary: No one notices the change in the diva. Well, if they do, they don't care enough to say anything. Can someone help her before she goes too far? TW: Rape.
1. Dead and Gone

Two Days Earlier

"Come on, Berry. You know you want some." Puck waved the shot glass in front of Rachel in a taunting matter. She sighed before grumbling and taking the shot glass. She downed the fiery liquid and coughed at the burning in her throat. The brunette narrowed her eyes at Puck.

"Happy now?" She coughed and pushed her way through the crowd of teenagers that were crowded into Puck's house. It was one of his annual house parties and everyone was drunk and dancing. Rachel, however, didn't feel like conforming to the pressures of modern day teenage society and joining them. Grabbing a cup, she filled it with soda and carefully sipped. Brittany skipped up to her, grabbing her in for a hug.

"Hey, Rachel! Isn't this party super fun? San and I were dancing and she even let me take a body shot off of her!" The blonde giggled, bouncing excitedly. Rachel smiled at the girl's energy. Brittany was the only member of the glee club who had been nice to her lately. Ever since she dumped Finn, everyone has been treating her like shit. Glaring at her and tossing even more insults than usual.

"That's great, Britt. I'm really happy for you guys." Brittany grabbed Rachel and picked her up.

"Come on, Rachie, let's go dance!" Rachel set her cup down and followed the blonde to the dance floor. Brittany twirled and glided around, looking as graceful as a ballerina. Grabbing Rachel's hands, she spun her around, keeping in beat with the pump of the music. Brittany started some dance moves, which Rachel easily imitated. Soon, everyone had cleared the dance floor and was watching the two girls dance. By the time the song was over, both girls were sweaty, but laughing. Rachel collapsed on the sofa, next to Tina and Mike who were gazing at each other lovingly. She searched for her cup, before finding it on a different table. _Hm. I don't remember putting it there_. She shrugged and took a sip. Brittany was soon grabbed by Santana to go dance. The dancer mouthed a quick 'Goodbye' to her friend and fell into the crowd. Rachel sat, silent and alone, humming to the various song beats that were blasting throughout the house. Suddenly, some guy form Dalton sat down next to her.

"Hey, I'm Brad. I go to Dalton. And who are you, my lovely friend?" He smiled at her with a slick and slimy grin and scooted closer to her. She awkwardly smiled and scooted a little bit farther away. "I'm Rachel. I go to McKinley High. Nice to meet you." He gave her another devilish grin before sliding up next to her. "Pleasure's all mine. What do you say we go have a little fun upstairs?" She gaped, appalled at the nerve of this boy. "How about you go and have fun up there with yourself?" She shook her head and grabbed her drink before getting up and moving to the other side of the house.

But her head became dizzy and she felt like she couldn't stand. She assured herself it was just a headache. Finn came up beside her, helping her into a chair. "Hey, Rach! You okay? You looked like you were gonna fall." He smiled with his trademark dopey grin. She sighed before slumping into a chair. Yet another boy to annoy her. " I'm fine, Finn. Now if you'll please leave me alone I-" " Listen, Rachel, I get it. I understand why you broke up with me. You felt really unappreciated and couldn't bear to see me even talking to another girl. I realize that now. So, if you'll work on that I'll get back together with you. Good. We're all good." He put his gigantic arm around her shoulders.

"_Excuse me?_ Did you just that that I was the one with jealousy issues? Finn Hudson, you were angry because I was talking to Noah! And that is most certainly not why** I** broke up with **YOU**. You were a horrible boyfriend. You made fun of me, never stood up for me, never had my back. Never said one word on glee club when I had a idea. You sat there and expected me to be you little lap dog. You were making it look like I was a charity case. That you were just going out with me to help your reputation, to make you look like the nicest boy in the school. But what you are, Finn Hudson, is a gigantic asshole! Your ego is huge and you have the nerve to act like you have a say in our relationship. I dumped you! I don't want to get back together with you! Get it through your pea sized brain! We are never ever ever ever ever getting back together. This is one of the most unhealthy relationships I've ever seen and I do not know why I spent two years, pining after you. You know what the problem was on our relationship, Finn? **It was you**. So don't come up to me and tell me I was the problem and that it's a privilege that you even want to consider getting back together with me. Because it's not. You may be the biggest star in Lima, Finn, why I don't know, but Lima is a fucking small town. Go to New York and try and make it there. You won't be such a big hotshot there, Finn. So go with one of the girls who for some reason want to date you. Leave me alone."

She raged at the tall man child who was now staring agape at her. Rachel grabbed her drink and stormed into an empty room. First, that idiot warbler had to come up to her and now Finn! Her night couldn't get any worse. But of course, her head was still killing her. She tried walking to chair that sat in the room which she presumed was the guest room. But her legs felt like jelly and she collapsed. Just as she fell, someone entered the room. They picked her up and put her on the bed. Her vision was blurry and she could barely make out who it was. The figure began undressing her. He taped her mouth and pushed her up farther onto the bed. Tears streamed down her face, as she silently pleaded to God. Just as the clock struck midnight, she blacked out.

She awoke the next morning with tattered, ripped clothes and a killer headache.


	2. Numb

One Day After

Rachel studied the room, taking in every little detail. Where was she? What had happened? She pulled the sheets up closer to her, before looking at herself. She had a busted up lip, her eye was turning purple, and _**everything**_ hurt. Rachel turned and looked at something hanging up on the wall. A Star Wars poster. She shut her eyes as everything came back. She was in Noah's guest room. She remembered that poster. It had been there since she was little. She'd come over and play with the boy. They would turn the guest room into their own little secret hideout fort. Back when he didn't hate her. She blinked back the tears as she remembered her childhood. Wiping them, she got back to her thoughts. _Ok. I'm in the guest room. Why?_ _Maybe I got in a fight and they put me in here.. _She scoffed. Rachel Berry getting in a fight was about as likely as pigs flying. _Ok. Think, Berry. Think_. She reached over to turn on the lamp that sat on the nightstand. Just as she was about to switch it on, she moved her hand and knocked over a red cup. Soda spilled onto the carpet. _Oh no. No. Please god no._ She was remembering all the events of last night. She didn't want to drink. She put her cup down to dance. Finn and idiot warbler. Went into room. Legs jelly. and then He came in. _Who was he? He'd obviously put something in my drink. God, I'm such an idiot. I know not to put my drink down at parties. This is all my fault. _Rachel shut her eyes tightly, trying to remember the figure that had hurt her like this. She'd figure it out later. She looked down and saw bruises and dried blood on the inside of her legs. She shut her eyes, trying not to cry. As a few tears slipped out, she quickly wiped them before picking up her clothes which sat in a pile on the floor. _Discarded and dirty, just like me. _She quietly slipped into her outfit. Grabbing her shoes, she silently opened the door and tiptoed down the stairs. Rachel looked around, observing everyone. Everyone was hung over and passed out. She breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't want anyone seeing her like this. Rachel left too fast to notice that someone in the kitchen had seen her.

* * *

The brunette walked to her car and set her shoes in the back. Sliding into the driver's seat, she sat silently_. _Why her? Was it the fact that almost everyone in the school hated her and thought she was a big jerk? Or was it the fact that she had a chance of getting out of this stupid town? _Well, I did. _There was no way she'd be able to get out of here like this_. Well, it's your fault. If you hadn't been so damn annoying and bossy, this wouldn't have happened. _She wiped her eyes before starting the automobile. She quietly drove to her house. This was the first time she was happy that her dads were never home. They left every week for some sort of vacation, or business trip as they called it, and called every week to let her know that they "had to stay for a little while longer" and if she was okay with that. "Of course not! I need my dad's." she wanted to scream at them. But she'd always just suck it up, smile, and say 'Yeah, Daddy, it's okay! Have fun!" She loved her dads. And if them leaving every week meant they were happy, so be it. They probably left because they didn't want to see her. They could sense that she was a failure. She opened her door and stepped inside her house. It was nice to see some sort of familiar setting. Walking into the kitchen, she opened her fridge and looked for some food. Opening the fridge, she spotted a cup just like the one she had drank from the night before. She crumpled to the floor in a crying mess. It had finally hit her. Realization that she was raped. She had something taken from her that no one could give back. She shut the fridge door and slowly picked herself up. The short brunette trudged up the stairs to her room. All she wanted to do was sleep. Forever. But, of course, she had school tomorrow. She couldn't fall behind on her studies. That was possibly the only thing that could get her out of Lima. She sighed before opening her Algebra book. Yay. Polynomials. She winced as she tried to read the page. Her eye hurt like hell. The bastard had apparently hit her in the eye and the lip. She hoped that she fought back and that's why. She ran downstairs and grabbed a bag of frozen peas and stuck them to her black eye. Iciness washed over her. Everything felt nice and cool. The coldness had numbed her eye. She wondered if it could to the same to her. Because for once, Rachel Berry realized it's not always better with feelings. She wished she could have this sensation forever. Like every problem, every emotion inside of her had frozen. She smiled to herself and grabbed another bag and placed it on her bloody lip. Everything was getting better. She couldn't feel the pain. At all_. I can't feel the pain. It's gone. It's gone!_ She happily twirled around her kitchen. She began crying, but not tears of sadness. Tears of relief. Tears of someone who had finally figured out what she had needed to feel good all along. It was like everything inside of her had died. Every emotion, regret, feeling. People who say everything is better with feelings were wrong. Everything the brunette had ever told herself about feelings was wrong. It's better without them. Slowly, she was becoming like a zombie. Dead. Inside and out.

And she had never felt more alive.

**And we're slowing entering Rachel's journey into self- hatred. It would mean the world to me if you could review and let me know what you like or don't like and what you want to see. Quinn and the glee clubbers will be more introduced next chapter. Now lovely readers, i have 2 questions for you.**

**1: Should Rachel become Pregnant?**

**2: Should Rachel self harm?**

**and Who do you think hurt Rachel?**

**Please review and I'll update as soon as i can. **

**I'll update once i hit 10 reviews lol ily all  
**


	3. Done

Present Day

Rachel groaned as soon as she heard her alarm clock beeping. Slapping it with her hand to shut it up, she trudged out of bed to get dressed. She was about to wear one of her signature skirts when she realized her bruises would be easily recognizable. Although she was sure no one would care, she still grabbed a pair of dark jeans and changed into those instead. Being careful wouldn't hurt. She stared at herself in the mirror. Jeans and a hoodie. Pale, colorless skin. Dark circles around her eyes. Messy, tangled hair. A fat lip. Shit. Everyone would notice her eye and her lip. She quickly took a bag from her closet and grabbed some cover-up. She gently began applying it to her eye, wincing because of the pain. She wiped the dried blood from her mouth because there wasn't much she could do about that. She sighed before grabbing her backpack and walking to her car. Driving to the school, she thought how school would go today. _Just be unnoticeable. _She bitterly laughed. _That won't be too hard._ She could walk in there, bloody and bruised, and no one would care. They'd just say she was doing it for attention. No one gives a fuck about her. So she wouldn't give a fuck about them. Parking her car in front of the school, she snatched her bag and walked slowly to the school. As soon as she stepped inside, she could feel eyes on her. But she didn't care anymore. _Let them stare. _Rachel was done with everything. Letting people push her around, and actually caring about them. _They can eat my shit for all I care. _She began walking to her locker with a bitter expression and blank eyes. Kurt stared at her, eyes wide, as she passed. She could swear she heard Tina choke on the water she was drinking. _But of course, no one asks. Just looks. _ Arriving at her locker, almost immediately, she was surrounded by cheerios and football players. Rachel took a deep breath and sighed loudly.

"What's with the new look, Berry? I mean it's an improvement, but a paper bag would be a step up to your wardrobe. Preferably if it was over your face."Some random cheerio scoffed, before turning and smiling at her peers who were laughing. Rachel tried to move out of the way, but the cheerio blocked her way. "Where you going, Berry? Where the fuck are you going to run? You have no one. No one gives a shit about you." _Did you think I didn't know that? _"Although, you know, you do look a little thirsty. We can help with that." She smiled a devilish grin as a football player passed her a slushee. "Anything you want to say, freak?"And although Rachel really didn't give two shits about these idiots, she had to say something. "Yeah. Fuck off cheeriHOE." The girl gaped and lifted the slushee to pour onto Rachel. The drink hit Rachel and she grabbed her bag to go change into the bathroom. But she didn't run in defeat or cry out of sadness. She just walked. Rachel stepped into the girl's bathroom and was greeted with Quinn Fabray, who was fixing her hair. Quinn stopped, took a look at Rachel, and went back to her hair. But then she quickly took a double take. "What happened to your eye, Berry?" Quinn sized her up, before staring at the girl's eye. Rachel's eyes widened and she looked at a mirror. The slushee had made the cover-up run, revealing a very purple, very noticeable black eye. _Fuck._"Nothing." Rachel mumbled, wringing her hair into the sink trying to get the ice shards out.

"Well, obviously something happened, Rachel." The brunette narrowed her eyes.

"Why do you care, Fabray? I'm a loser. L-o-s-e-r. You're a pretty, popular cheerio. Just like the rest of them. So don't try and act like you give a fuck about me." Rachel snarled, before taking her bag and storming out. _I don't need to change right now. _Quinn stood there with her jaw dropped. Rachel had never talked to anyone like that. What the fuck was going on. Rachel stormed through the hallways with dripping hair and soggy clothes. She was going to reapply cover-up to her eye, but fuck it. No one would worry. Even if they asked, she wouldn't answer them. Going into the Algebra classroom, she sat down at her seat. The bell rang and kids piled in. Mercedes gave her a wary eye then went to sit with Kurt. Blaine gave her a sad look then went to sit with Sam. _That's all they do. They think what they do is fine, because they give me a look then ignore me. It's like 'Oh it's going to be okay, but I'll go sit with someone else.' _ Ms. Holliday came into the classroom.

"Mrs. Smith is out today, so I'm going to be your sub. My name is Ms. Holliday." All the Glee kids exchanged smiles and thumbs ups. Rachel rolled her eyes."Today we'll be learning about factoring binomials…" Rachel zoned out after that. She knew this stuff. Every weekend when the Glee kids were out partying, she was in her house studying. She wasn't ever really invited to parties. And the one time she was… She shook her head, pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind. An hour went by and the bell rang. "Okay! Bye guys! Rachel, can you stay after for a minute?" Ms. Holliday said to the class. Everyone piled out, and Rachel groaned. Ms. Holliday came up to her. " Hey, Rachel, Are you doing okay? You seemed a little out of it today." Rachel gave a fake smile. " Yeah. I'm just really tired. I'll be better tomorrow." Ms. Holliday smiled, then patted her on the back. The small brunette gathered up her stuff and left the classroom. Even more people were staring at her. Apparently, word had gotten around of what she had said to the cheerio. She breezed through them. All of her classes had gone like how math had. She zoned out and everyone ignored her. It was fine to her. At lunch, she went into the choir room. Shutting the door, she sat down and began eating. She couldn't stop thinking about what Quinn said. _What happened? _ Since math, her black eye was revealed and no one said a thing. Some of the glee kids gave her sympathetic looks , but Rachel didn't care. What good did looks do? They could take their sad eyes and shove them up their ass. She wondered if Quinn would've said anything if she hadn't seen her eye. _Wait. I already know the answer to that. She wouldn't. It would just look like any other day when I was having insults and frozen drinks tossed at me._ She threw her lunch away, and sat at the piano. She quietly began playing a few bars. It seemed like music was the only thing she couldn't shut out of her life. Rachel quietly hummed along. She was dead inside and no one cared. But, it didn't hurt anymore. Normally, it would kill her. But she died two nights ago.

**Hi! I'm sorry! I waited a day on updating because i've been busy and my gosh, I've been so overwhelmed by all of your reviews! I love you all! I'm still debating what's going to be going on with Rachel. I'm pretty sure she won't self harm. But the pregnancy storyline is still open. So, I still need your opinions! But, things will not be getting easier for her anytime soon. She's going to be going down dark paths. Basically she is turning into a zombie. Everything that happened has been eating her up and it hurt's so much, she's giving up. Thus, the not caring and the outbursts. Rachel's not taking shit from anyone.**

**I have another question! **

**Who do you think did it? How do you think someone should find out about her rape? Let me know what direction you think i should take this story in! Also, Review**! **I'll do my best to update as fast as i can. **

**I'll update at 33 reviews hehe im so mean ilu all  
**


	4. Here

As she began to start to sing, the bell rang and she shut up. It was time for Glee. _Hoo fucking ray. _She sat alone, waiting for the other members to pile in. As if on cue, they piled it, laughing and smiling. Rachel rolled her eyes at them. They buddied up and sat down together. She was left alone. _Fine with me. _But as soon as Mr. Schue started talking, Quinn ran in. "Sorry, Mr. Schue, I was caught up talking to a teacher." He nodded, and she sat down. Next to Rachel. Rachel looked at her like she had broccoli stuck in her teeth, but said nothing. "Alright guys, Sectionals is coming up!" Cheers erupted from the club, and Rachel fought the urge to gag. "Now, Rachel, it's time for you to tell us your ideas." The glee director looked at her expectantly. She looked at him, then looked down and began checking her nails. He began impatiently tapping his foot. "Rachel, if you're feeling a little bit moody, because of ahem _lady things, _that's fine. But really, we need to hear your ideas. We have no time to waste when it comes to Sectionals." Rachel looked at him, appalled_. Did he really just say that? _Suddenly a voice began speaking.

"Oh my god, Mr. Schuester. What the fuck was that? Just because she doesn't want to talk you assume she's on her period. And why the fuck are you so dependent on her? Aren't you the teacher? What if I have ideas for Sectionals? Why the fuck are you so positive she does? What the fuck?" Quinn Fabray yelled at him, eyes blazing. Rachel looked up and stared at the girl next to her. The glee club sat, staring at the blonde who looked like she wanted to punch Mr. Schue. Everyone was looking like they'd just seen a bear do ballet. Why was Quinn Fabray standing up for Rachel Berry, out of all people? Quinn huffed, then sped out of the room. Everyone's eyes turned to Rachel. She gave them a disgusted look before taking her bag and running out the door. As she ran out of the choir room, she bumped into Quinn. She mumbled a sorry and was about to leave, when Quinn grabbed her arm.

"Seriously, Berry, what's up with you? You mouthed off to a cheerio, have no glee ideas, and have barely said 3 words all day." The blonde gave her a concerned look. Rachel tried to shake off the urge to break down._ Careful, Rachel. She does not care about you. Do not trust her._ _You need to get out of here. "_Nothing, Quinn." She spat out the blonde's name with hatred. The cheerio squinted her eyes, staring at the bitter girl in front of her. She loosened her grip on Rachel's arm. "Well, here. This is my number. If you need to talk or something." Quinn took out a pen and scribbled her phone number on Rachel's arm. She gave Rachel a small smile before turning and walking to her car. Rachel stared at her arm like it had been burned. _What the fuck?_ Rachel was just as confused as the Glee club.

* * *

Santana ran out of the club and caught up to Quinn. "Seriously, Q. You got a boner for Berry?" Quinn scoffed. "No, Santana. I do not have a 'boner for Berry.' I just think it's stupid what Mr. Schue said. That's all." Santana snorted. "Please, Q. Everything he says is stupid. But, did you say something because what he said involved the dwarf? You have it bad for her, _Queerio_." Santana smiled, happy with her word play. Quinn bitterly laughed. "Oh, please. Like I'd ever have anything for Berry. I'm just trying to be less of a bitch. You should try it sometime. By the way, even if I did like Berry, should you really be talking_, Lespez_?" The Latina gave her friend a dark look. "Whatever, Quinnie. I'm just trying to help. It sucks having to hide shit like that. Just be careful with your leering. You were eye fucking Berry so hard in there." Quinn shook her head. "Talk to you later, Sannie." _**I do not like Berry.**_ _**Why would she even think that? I'm just trying to help**_. Something was definitely up with the diva and Quinn seemed like the only one who gave a shit. Has no one else noticed the change? Rachel's basically driven the club to Regionals since the beginning and now something was up and no one gave a shit. She'd seen the girl in the bathroom. She didn't even look affected by the slushee she'd received. And there was undeniably a black eye that Berry was trying to hide. Her lip looked split too. She hadn't seen Rachel act normally since the party on Friday. Today was Monday. How does someone change their entire personality over 3 days? Quinn needed to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with Rachel. If no one else cared, then she would. But, Berry was being even more stubborn that usual. She looked at Quinn with such hatred. And Quinn hadn't done shit lately. She never looked at her like that back in freshman year, when Quinn had actually ruined Rachel's life. Rachel had lost everything unique about her. Her clothes were dull and blended in with everyone else's. Quinn never thought she would miss those horrid animal sweaters. Rachel's eyes were dead and absent. They looked more black than the deep brown color they were supposed to be. Quinn got into her car and banged her eye against the steering wheel a few times_**. What is going on with her? Maybe Finn said sometime stupid again**_. She saw Rachel's outburst at Puck's party. Rachel looked like she wanted to rip Finn's head off and feed it to tigers. Although, Quinn didn't blame her. But, Finn said millions of stupid things and Rachel never acted like this. Something happened in those 3 days. Something that changed Rachel entirely. And Quinn wasn't going to sleep until she figured it out. All she needed was a plan. First, she needed Berry. She needed to get Rachel to trust her. Then they'd become friends and Quinn could lure it out of Rachel. She smiled. Operation: Save Berry was now underway.

* * *

**Hi! I'm sorry. I'm sick so I'm like a review late of updating. Thank you for the reviews! You guys are the best. Someone ( not saying who) will find out about the rape in the next chapter or two or three who knows. Should they find out by Rachel being triggered by something and blurting it out or should the attacker confront Rachel again and the person sees and figures it out? Any other ideas you guys have leave them in the reviews. I love you all so much. I'll update as soon as I can. **


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